Fated to Her Feral Mate Read online

  I don’t know what to say or think, and I don’t even know if he would understand me if I spoke to him now.

  Rory only stays in wolf form for a few more seconds before turning back into a man—a now naked man with a pile of shredded clothes at his feet.

  “Hey, you freak!” someone in the market yells at him as they walk by. “Put some clothes on! This is a family place, not a strip joint!”

  Instead of staying scared, something comes over me—a different feeling, a strangely protective feeling. I surprise myself by pulling Rory further inside my booth so that no one else can see him and call security for his display of public indecency.

  Rory grabs a change of clothes that I hadn’t noticed him toss into the corner when he first got here, and he puts them on slowly as I stand there in a silent state of shock. I’m dumbfounded, both because he is some sort of magical wolf, and because he is even more handsome unclothed than he was clothed. Now I definitely won’t be able to sleep at night. My thoughts are so conflicted right now that it feels like the spongey part of my brain is being torn in two.

  When he is finally dressed, I’m finally able to find the words to speak again.

  “What are you?” I ask in a whisper.

  “The same thing you are,” Rory answers with that intense stare into my eyes again. “A wolf shifter.”

  “What?” My head is spinning around itself. “You’re crazy, or maybe I am. I don’t know what I just saw you do, but I can assure you that whatever that was—I am definitely not. I think you should leave.”

  Rory doesn’t look angry at my dismissal of whatever it is that I just saw. Instead, he looks stunned and even hurt. It looks like he’d hoped for a very different reaction from me, but I’m not sure what he could have possibly expected me to do. He literally just turned into an animal in front of my face, and then had the audacity to claim that I was just like him. This whole thing is insane.

  “Nessa,” he says calmly.

  “No, leave,” I say. “Now! Just leave me alone and stop following for fuck’s sake!”

  People start to stop in front of my booth and peer their faces around the corner to make sure that everything is okay inside. Rory gets ready to leave as soon as he notices that people can hear the commotion and are coming over to check and make sure that I am alright. I feel bad. I don’t want to paint him as some sort of monster. But, God, after what I just saw I’m not sure that he isn’t one.

  “Okay,” he says as he puts his palms up in the air. “I’ll leave. I don’t want to make a scene here, and I don’t want to draw any more attention to either of us.”

  I wish that he would stop lumping me in with him, as if I was some sort of shapeshifting canine too. After more than thirty years on this earth, I think that I would know by now if I was part wolf.

  Rory walks away without saying anything else, and as soon as he is gone, I sit down at my half-decorated table, surrounded by all my pretty art, in complete and utter shock. I wonder if a person can develop post-traumatic stress after watching a handsome stranger transform into a wolf and then back into a very well-hung naked man in front of them. I don’t know whether to giggle or panic.

  But one thing strikes me as even more out of place than the shapeshifting itself, if that’s even possible. Rory didn’t look scary or menacing in wolf form. He looked sad and disappointed that I rejected him, as if he was trying to show me something important, not trying to freak me out.

  That took guts on his part.

  I pack up my things and head home, securing the stuff that I plan to leave here until tomorrow. I was planning on staying much later and getting more done, but I can’t even think straight now. I start to wonder if maybe I overreacted, and maybe I shouldn’t have yelled at him to leave. After all, he turned back into a man eventually, so we could have just sat and talked about what just happened. But geez—he is a shapeshifting wolf! That’s not just something you can take in all at once, on the spot.

  When I get back to my apartment, I thankfully avoid seeing Dalton on my way into the building. He always seems to be loitering about too. What is it with men in this city, prowling around every corner?

  I draw a hot bath, pour a very large glass of wine to help ease my nerves and hopefully curb my overthinking—which is now derailing like a train wreck, forcing me down the rabbit hole of questioning all the odd things about myself and my life that I always thought were strange but never really questioned until now.

  Why do my nails and hair grow so fast that I have to trim them almost every other day? Why do I frequently have the sudden urge to just run through the mountains or the streets at top speed, as if I have more kinetic energy than my body can hold? And is it really just a coincidence that the cycles of the moon seem to affect my mood more than they do other people? Most people have the “oh look, it’s a full moon and people are acting up” kind of superstition. But I find myself having the wildest cravings and urges to do things that I wouldn’t normally do. And every time I look at the calendar around those times, I notice they seems to coincide with the three days before or after the full moon. One time I even found myself contemplating eating a handful of raw meat as I was trying to make dinner around that time. But there is no full moon today and Rory changed into a wolf right in front of my eyes in broad daylight, so all that stuff is probably just a myth anyway.

  It is all just too much to comprehend. Not even the hot soak in bath salts or the oversized glass of Merlot is helping.

  For a very brief moment, I let myself entertain the possibility that what I saw at the market today was real—that Rory really is some sort of wolf shifter, and so am I. I feel crazy for thinking it, but it would explain some of the odd behaviors and quirks that have cost me both friendships and relationships over the span of my life. It would explain why I’ve always felt a little uneasy in my own skin. And it would explain this “calling” that I haven’t been able to shake, that I’m meant to be something more than what I have been. It is the whole reason that I gave up everything and came to the city—to find myself. Maybe this is what I’m supposed to find.

  6

  Rory

  I’m not at all pleased with the way that my “big reveal” went down with Nessa. I expected her to be shocked, staring in disbelief, and probably blurting out nothing short of a zillion questions. But I wasn’t expecting her to get mad and yell at me. I wasn’t expecting for her to tell me to leave.

  I don’t understand Nessa at all.

  Why doesn’t she have questions that she wants answered? Why is it so hard for her to believe that she is like me?

  Maybe I shouldn’t have just sprung it on her like that. But my hands are full dealing with not only discovering my mate on the subway just a few weeks ago, but also trying to figure out how to handle the developing situation and threat in the city. I don’t have time to coddle Nessa. I need her to get on board with things, and fast.

  The other rival alphas and I don’t normally get along or work together. In fact, we are all usually trying to figure out ways to expand our own territories and usurp control from other packs. But now that shifters have been turning up dead in the deep pockets and dark corners of all the packs’ territories, all five alphas have come together to try to figure out what is going on. That’s what our meeting was about at the Irish pub. The pack leaders were trying to figure out what to do. Our best guess is that someone has discovered the existence of our kind—a human most likely, and since this discovery, shifters are now perceived as some sort of threat or unwanted plague. That is why they are now being hunted. The problem is that no one seems to have any clue as to who is doing the hunting. And because New York City is so crowded, whoever is behind the killings is managing to stay completely hidden and out of sight. All four of us alphas agreed that our packs would unite on a temporary basis, in order to find and stop the threat that is now affecting us all.

  After the threat is dealt with, we can all go back to being enemies. But for right now, as a gesture of goodwil
l, we’re taking it in turns to offer a member of our pack to another borough in order to help protect each other. That way, we’re all protected, and every pack has eyes on each other. Having some new blood on our territories will also help to gain some fresh perspective and hopefully that will help us catch whoever is responsible for the killings.

  As much as I want to spend my day going to see Nessa and trying to convince her that she isn’t crazy and that I am not a monster, I have other things that I need to attend to right now. I have new shifters who were left in my territory in Queens to join my pack during this mission.

  Two of them are young, well, at least younger than me. Sorsha, who is from the pack in Manhattan, and Awen, who is from the pack in Brooklyn. I’m going to meet with them now to get them acquainted with my pack and assign them sectors of Queens to watch over.

  Much to my dismay, when I get there to meet them, they have already heard about the scene that I made at the market. Sorsha seems unimpressed with my leadership. As soon as I arrive, she eyes me from head to toe and then rolls her eyes. Then I hear her mumble something to Awen about how her alpha would never act like such a fool because of a human.

  I open my mouth and get ready to tell her that Nessa is no human, but I stop when I realize that I don’t need to explain shit to her. Also, I notice that she and Awen don’t seem to be the best of friends, which makes sense considering they are from rival packs. I don’t have anything to prove here, this is my territory and these two will follow my commands whether they like it or not.

  After a bit of posturing, they both fall in line. No shifter is going to deny or disrespect an alpha, even one who is only their temporary leader.

  “The two of you are going to stay on guard outside an apartment building in Queens,” I tell them. I don’t tell them that it’s Nessa’s apartment building.

  “Why?” Sorsha asks. “Is there someone of interest inside the building?”

  “Just do it,” I say. It’s not their job to question me.

  I want to make sure that nothing happens to Nessa. Especially since she doesn’t seem to understand or believe that she is a shifter.

  Sorsha and Awen exchange looks, wondering why they aren’t being spread farther apart across the borough, but neither of them dares question me. I don’t think either of them are pleased about having patrol together, but they grumble and follow my instructions regardless.

  “Don’t get distracted,” I told them.

  “Why would we be distracted?” Awen asks.

  “Please,” I say, taking my turn to roll my eyes. “The two of you are from rival packs. You’re young, ambitious, and clearly despise each other.”

  “That may all be true,” Sorsha says. “But I can assure you that we want to catch the person responsible for these killings as quickly as possible so that we can get back to our packs and away from each other.”

  “Good point,” I say, feeling better about the situation already.

  After that is resolved, and both the two new shifters and my own pack members are going about their daily business on a state of heightened alert, I turn my thoughts back toward what I’m going to do about the situation with Nessa.

  Somehow, I need to convince her that she is a wolf shifter. She can’t just continue to walk around the city acting like a helpless human in shifter skin or she is going to become a prime target for whoever is hunting the wolves of the city. I’m not sure how I’m going to do it yet, but somehow, I need to get her to believe me.

  7

  Nessa

  Since I can’t stop thinking about what Rory said, and I can’t avoid all the questions swirling around in my head, I go to the library. The New York City Public Library branch in Queens has a book on every subject that someone can think of. It is massive and multi-level, and you could get lost in there, perusing for days. Fortunately, they also have a very efficient system to help you find what you’re looking for. So, within a few moments I’m standing in front of a section of books on the subject of werewolf lore.

  When someone comes up to me in between the bookshelves, I should know that it’s Rory. But this time, instead of shouting at him to leave while trying to run away, I stay put, because I’m ready to listen now.

  “How did you find me again?” I ask. “It’s not like finding someone in here is easy to do. And what would even make you think that I would be here in the library? I’m starting to think that you really are stalking me.”

  “No,” Rory answers. “I’m not stalking you, but I’m not sure that you’re going to like the real answer any better.”

  “Tell me—please.”

  “The truth is that I can both sense and smell wherever you are in the city,” he answers.

  “That’s kind of weird,” I say.

  Rory laughs, and it makes me feel better that we can at least talk in a lighter mood this time.

  “So, you have wolfish superpowers?”

  “Not superpowers,” he says. “Senses. And you have them too.”

  “Yeah, I’m still trying to wrap my head around that part. Can all wolf shifters do that?”

  “What, smell other shifters? Yes. But it’s something that we can only do with our mates.”

  As if I needed something else to freak out over. Mates? As in destined to be together? With this man who was essentially a stranger to me a few weeks ago and has shown up to tell me that I’m a shapeshifting wolf? I just can’t take any more. I’m too stunned to stay steady on my feet, and I don’t know if it is the stuffiness of the library or the fact that it feels like the shelves are closing in on me, but I start to feel like I’m going to pass out.

  Rory sees it, wraps a quick arm around my waist, and walks me out of the library and straight back to my apartment.

  “How do you even know where I live?” I ask him, realizing that at this point, I shouldn’t be surprised by anything anymore. “Oh, wait, let me guess, you can sense it. Or maybe you can smell my apartment full of clothes from miles away. You know what, don’t answer that, please.” I think that I’m just getting overwhelmed and snarky now.

  The whole way to my apartment. I’m mentally scolding myself for letting this “crazy stranger” walk me home. But as much as I want to deny it, there is something deep down inside of me that recognizes that, strangely, this feels right. I will never admit to it, and I sure as hell don’t want it, but there is definitely some sort of force pulling us together.

  When we get to my apartment, Rory searches around my kitchen to find the tea kettle and a box of mint tea. I’ve added some cheap Ikea furniture to my apartment, so it’s at least not completely bare. While I sit and try to combat the encroaching dizziness, I decide that now is as good a time as any to pick his brain. I have nothing short of a thousand questions to ask him.

  “Do you only shift into a wolf at certain times, or can you shift whenever you want?”

  “Whenever we want,” Rory answers. “That whole bit about the full moon is just a myth. Although the moon does affect our moods and cravings significantly.”

  I knew it.

  “Does it hurt?”

  “What? Shifting?”

  “Yeah,” I ask trying not to sound like a weakling.

  “Nah, it doesn’t hurt. It just takes some getting used to. I still can’t believe that you’ve never shifted in your entire life,” he says as he shakes his head while pouring the tea into cups for us both. “It’s no wonder that you act so much like a human. I can’t begin to imagine how confused your body is. Somewhere deep inside of you, a wolf is buried. I still just don’t understand it. How the hell did you not know that you were part wolf? It seems impossible.”

  “I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I guess I just always felt weird and restless, and I just got used to feeling like that was the norm.” I reach down and place the cup to my lips, inhaling and letting the invigorating mint clear my head.

  “Well, I have to say, you are handling it pretty well, even though you were scared and shocked at first.” r />
  “Thanks,” I smile. In the midst of all of this, that has to mean something.

  “But you do need to shift for the first time. It will unlock the rest of your repressed wolf nature. Hopefully it will all just come flooding back to you like some sort of forgotten memory that has been buried down, lying dormant inside of you this entire time.”

  “I don’t know how to shift,” I remind him.

  “We’ll work on that,” Rory says with a wink.

  I feel a little better now. I’m not sure if it is the tea or the gentle way that he is talking to me now.

  “There is still the other matter though,” he says carefully. “Of us being mates. You are going to be my mate.”

  “That’s kind of pushy, isn’t it? I mean after all, that sort of thing is supposed to be a question, not a directive,” I say.

  “That’s not exactly the way that it works in the shifter world. For us, sometimes mates are chosen without our control, and we recognize them when we meet them. There’s nothing that can be done to refuse the impulse once you feel it.”

  “Oh, I highly doubt that.”

  “Nessa, you will be an alpha’s mate. And you will have to come and live with me so that I can protect you. That’s the way that it works with the shifter packs in New York City.”

  I don’t care how he wants to phrase it or what mythical creature he’s going to turn into next, but I am definitely not moving in with a man I just met.

  “I can take care of myself, thanks,” I say. “I’ve been doing it for quite a while now, and it’s been working out just fine for me.”

  “Things are different now,” he says. “Now, you know what you are.”

  I decide right then and there to be obstinate.

  “It has taken me a very long time to figure out exactly what I’m not, and that is why I moved to the city to start over. I don’t need anyone telling what I’m or what I can or cannot do. I will be the one deciding my fate from now on. I came here to find myself, not to get lost again. I came here to get out on my own, and I sure as hell don’t want to get involved with any man—or wolf, for that matter.”